The Usual Routine

A nice little schedule of my life.

6:00 am: Wake up.

6:02: Fall asleep.

6:22: Wake up again.

6:25: Put on clothes picked at random.

6:26: Realize that it’s 22 degrees out in the morning, put on warmer pants.

6:31: Brush teeth or comb hair, but not both.

6:42: Bus arrives at my house.

6:57: Bus arrives at my house second time, after picking up more kids. Realize with a pang that i could have woken up 15 minute later.

7:13: Bus arrives at school. School uses economic technique of using the air conditioner in the morning, shutting it off at high noon.

7:45: Classes actually start. So I could have woken up a half-hour later, walked to school, and still gotten to class on time. Damn.

11:30: Lunch of pizza or Chinese. I can feel the blood pressure rising.

12:00 noon: Gym class. Temperature: 355 degrees, but about ten degrees less in the shade.

2:45: Arrive at home. Pretty much sit around ’til three.

3:00: Catch up on yesterday’s current events, which were thoughtfully recorded while I was at school.

4:00: Homework. Apparently I’m the only teenager who actually does this at home.

4:11: Finish homework. Hey, I never said I did it well.

4:12: Whatever the hell I want. Generally video games or books.

7:00: Dinner and Jeopardy. I should get more answers than my family, but they cheat by being smarter than me.

9:00: Sitcoms.

11:00: “Go to bed” (read from the fine works of Dave Barry)

3:00am: Fall asleep.